Sunday, February 28, 2010

Why can't I seem to be happy?

You know I will start today with this, I am mystified, stupefied, dumbfounded that I can't seem to be happy.  Why is this? At one point in my life I seemed to be happy on the outside of course not inside.  I need an answer. I know somewhere out there, there is someone worse off then me...that's what I have heard.  I have not been abused in my adult my childhood yes I was very abused.  Verbally and physically. I just want to live in a place where everything has its place and has a purpose, and have some space.  To talk to people and not think that they are laughing at me or thinking I disgust them. I just want to cry, I'm an old lady not needed, with no purpose...give me a gun and let me shoot my brains out.  Yea that's what you want isn't  world.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Hello internet!

Hello internet how's it going?  Well today I guess its going okay for me, slept till 3:00pm today.  My daughter called, had to call her back didn't here my cell.  She sent me some pictures today that my sister-in-law sent to her.  My brother's family that is another story for another day.  Any way, I love these pic's of my youth, and family at the time. Made me cry, I guess because of the sad memories and good.  Yea, I know what happen for us to look so sad in the pic, my skrink said my life sounds like a soap opera...he was such a BASTARD!!!! I wish I could turn back the hands of time to go back to the good times (which by the way were very VERY few).  Okay eat vanilla ice cream and chocolate chip cookies to feel better.  God I hate being so nostalgic.  BLAH!!!  Going to play Everquest2 or WoW need to dull my feelings..   I miss my mother, you know a love hate relationship   :`(

Monday, October 26, 2009

A little about me

I live with my husband, two cats on a fucking ass small boat.  I should have never ever agreed to living there but hey... whats that saying (hind site is better than for sight) I think thats wrong but you know what I mean.  Children ah yes, I have two daughters grown, married, and live in two different states. The only children I have now are my two cats and damn one is just like a child.  OK I hope you eyes don't bleed because of my spelling or grammar (the grammar police can go fuck themselves OK.)  Its my blog not yours so no comments on that please. Now back to business..... I can't get a job since I have been out of work for so long...(had breast cancer and all that goes with that needles, doctors, hair falling out, no hair on body what so ever, yea even .  A BALD BODY!!!!!  Well that was a few years ago, but now I think its my age too. So now I spend my time on this computer and I have learn to like mmorpg's.  I have to have some vice, at least I didn't turn to drugs or drinking my self blind.  I don't know maybe my husband would have like an alcoholic instead...hummm.  WOW what a wall of text, my eyes are bleeding now I'll return later.. NO DAMN SPELL CHECK

Lets test this thing frist......

Well I tried to include a pic but I don't think it took....heheh. Let's see if this thing works.